Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
