i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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