I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize