my vag is so smooth its legendary
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
