There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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