Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just blew my weed a kiss
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
