Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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