I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
