Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc

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(602): View more from Arizona

you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits

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(704): View more from North Carolina

He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?

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(815): View more from Illinois

Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.

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(614): View more from Ohio

He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?

(203): View more from Connecticut

NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?

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(206): View more from Washington

Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.

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