So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
