I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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