That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
