Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
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I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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