So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
