I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
someone owes me an orgasm
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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