Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I have fence marks all over my body
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
