I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize