We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.