then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
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just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
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Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands