remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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