Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
