You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
