either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
