I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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