It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Sober January is a disaster.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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