You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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