discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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