Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
