So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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