Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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