yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
NoShamevember. You game?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
