she was so not down for the gang bang
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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