I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
