My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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