i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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