Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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