You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
