im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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