I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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