Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I FOUND THE LEGS
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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