i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
