is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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