I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
