How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
