Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
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I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
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I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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