Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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