Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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