Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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