Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
