i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
love makes seman taste better
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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