I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
