Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
