the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
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Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
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And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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