i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
All the doctor said was why
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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