i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
