sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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