Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize