Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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