By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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