How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Rumble strips road head = magical
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
