Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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